


i'll think of a title soon probably

by hamifihekrix



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drugs, F/F, Lesbians :D, equius is a poopoo head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-05 18:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21212798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamifihekrix/pseuds/hamifihekrix





	i'll think of a title soon probably

Your name is NEPETA LEIJON, and you've just finished wrapping up the plans for a sleepover between you and your... "best friend" for later today. By later today, you mean right now. You're leaving right now. 

Your moirail is taking you over to her hive. You'll be riding on his shoulder. That's not incredibly important, and is actually a pretty normal aspect of your life. Somehow.

Nothing really eventful happens on the trip. It's not a long trip. Only a couple of kilometres, whatever those are.

NEPETA: :33 < terezi!!  
TEREZI: OH! N3P3TA  
TEREZI: 1T'S F4NT4ST1C TO S33 YOU  
NEPETA: :33 < its furrantastic to s33 you too :33  
TEREZI: OH 4ND  
TEREZI: H3Y 3QU1US  
EQUIUS: D - > I have explained multiple times that I would rather you referred to me as Mr. Zahhak  
TEREZI: H4H4  
TEREZI: 4NYW4Y  
TEREZI: YOU W4NN4 COM3 1N N3P3TA??  
EQUIUS: D - > I must request entrance to your hive  
EQUIUS: D - > I was %hausted from the run over here, and I would like to have a drink of cool, refreshing milk before I go back  
NEPETA: :33 < cmon equius!! don't embarrass me!!  
EQUIUS: D - > Nonsense, Nepeta  
TEREZI: Y34H, DON'T WORRY 4BOUT 1T N3P3T4  
TEREZI: YOU'LL B3 QU1CK R1GHT >:?  
EQUIUS: D - > Absolutely  
EQUIUS: D - > You won't even notice that I am here  
TEREZI: F1N3 TH3N, COM3 1N  


He does just that.

You wish he'd hurry up. You just want to start things up with your girlfr-  
Best friend. That's what you were going to say.  
Think.  
Whatever.  


Terezi shows Equius where he can find the milk, and he kind of just... sits on the floor and starts chugging. You think to yourself, "alright", and then get led by Terezi into her room. Everything's set up. By everything, you mean a couple of bongs and... that's about it. It also looks like she has a couple of movie selections for the two of you to watch after you get high.

TEREZI: YOU W4NT TO G3T ST4RT3D  
NEPETA: :33 < but what if equius walks in??  
TEREZI: DON'T WORRY 4BOUT H1M, B4BY  
TEREZI: TH3 R3ST OF TH3 N1GHT 1S JUST GO1NG TO B3 YOU, M3, 4ND SOM3 SW33T MOV13S  
NEPETA: :33 < but he's just out there...  
NEPETA: :33 < i really want to do this but it f33ls like it'd probably be easier if we just waited for him to-  
TEREZI: SSHHH  


She puts her finger on your lips.

TEREZI: TH3 R1SK JUST M4K3S 1T TH4T MUCH MOR3 FUN  
TEREZI: 1 M34N, 1F YOU DON'T W4NT TO DO 1T, TH4T'S F1N3  
TEREZI: BUT TH3 THR1LL OF 3QU1US B31NG R1GHT TH3R3 JUST G3TS MY BLOODPUSH3R PUMP1NG  
NEPETA: :33 < alright  
NEPETA: :33 < alright!! let's do this  
TEREZI: 1'LL JUST DO TH1S  
TEREZI: 4ND TH3N 4 L1TTL3 B1T OF TH4T  
TEREZI: 4ND 1F W3 PUT TH4T TH3R3...  
TEREZI: DON3!  
TEREZI: H3R3 YOU GO  
NEPETA: :33 < *ac thanks gc for her gift very deeply!!*  
TEREZI: NOW TH4T'S L1K3 1T!  
EQUIUS: D - > Is that weed I can smell  
TEREZI: (sh1t h1d3 1t)  
NEPETA: :33 < (*ac asks gc how exactly she's suspposed to do that???*)  
TEREZI: (just throw 1t b3h1nd som3th1n- H3Y 3QU1US  
TEREZI: YOU KNOW, 1 SOM3WH4T R3M3MB3R YOU T3LL1NG US TH4T YOU WOULDN'T H4R4SS US 1F 1 G4V3 YOU M1LK  
TEREZI: WH1CH 1 D1D  
EQUIUS: D - > That may have been true earlier, but I cannot allow Nepeta exposure to any type of addictive substance  
EQUIUS: D - > It would not be good for her  
NEPETA: :33 < i can look aftur myself fine equius  
NEPETA: :33 < we're not doing anything! there's nothing to worry about  
EQUIUS: D - > I think you're lying to me Nepeta  
EQUIUS: D - > I think you're lying to me and that's not very nice  
EQUIUS: D - > In fact  
EQUIUS: D - > I can see the bong over there  
TEREZI: 1T W4S TH3R3 FROM TH3 ST4RT, 1 FORGOT TO PUT 1T 4W4Y  
TEREZI: 1T'S MY F4ULT  
EQUIUS: D - > I can't believe you would do this behind me back  
EQUIUS: D - > How am I supposed to trust you after discovering this disgusting mockery  
EQUIUS: D - > I am going to stay here with the two of you to make sure you do not get up to any more trouble  
NEPETA: :33 < but that's no fun!!  
TEREZI: DON'T WORRY, N3P  
TEREZI: W3'LL JUST... MOV3 ONTO TH3 MOV13S 1 GU3SS??  
NEPETA: :33 < ok!!  
NEPETA: :33 < i think i could purrobably enjoy purretty much anything as long as i'm with you :33  
EQUIUS: D - > You two are acting awfully close  
TEREZI: WOULD YOU M1ND NOT S4Y1NG 4NYTH1NG 4T 4LL FOR TH3 3NT1R3 N1GHT?? TH4NKS  
TEREZI: (1 th1nk h3 m4y 3nd up b31ng 4 probl3m)  
NEPETA: :33 < (yeah but... i don't think there's much we can do at the moment 33:)  
TEREZI: W3LL, DO YOU S33 4NYTH1NG YOU L1K3??  


You arrange your cases of movies across the floor. Nepeta looks over them thoughtfully for a second, before Equius picks up a movie.

EQUIUS: D - > I like this one  
TEREZI: F1RSTLY, FUCK OFF, TH1S 1S SUPPOS3D TO B3 OUR N1GHT  
TEREZI: 1F YOU DON'T L1K3 TH3 MOV13 W3 P1CK YOU C4N JUST  
TEREZI: SHOCKER!!  
TEREZI: L34V3  
TEREZI: S3CONDLY, W3'R3 NO STR4NG3R TO HOW YOU 4CT 4ROUND HOOFB34ST MOV13S  
TEREZI: EXP3R13NC1NG TH4T ONC3 W4S MOR3 TH4N S3V3R4L T1M3S MOR3 TH4N 3NOUGH  
EQUIUS: D - > I e%plained to you why I feel the need to stay with the two of you  
EQUIUS: D - > I offered to leave, and take Nepeta with me, but you were opposed to that  
TEREZI: 4LT3RN4T1V3LY, YOU COULD SHOV3 TH1S BONG UP YOUR NOOK  
EQUIUS: D - > Foul language such as that is only e%tending the chance of me taking Nepeta on my own accord  
NEPETA: :33 < listen here, you little bastard man  
NEPETA: :33 < me and terezi here are going to watch whatefur we want without having to listen to you complain fur the entire length of the movie  
NEPETA: :33 < whefur you like it or not!!  
NEPETA: :33 < am i making myself clear?  
EQUIUS: D - > Yes, Nepeta  
NEPETA: :33 < now!  
NEPETA: :33 < movie time!! :33  
NEPETA: :33 < hmm  
NEPETA: :33 < hmmmm  
NEPETA: :33 < hmmmmmm  


After a few moments of careful consideration, you pick up one of the DVDs that Terezi has scattered around. Some say that DVDs are outdated, and some have never even heard of them, but you sincerely believe that all of the classics were made during the time of DVDs, and that they are the best form of recorded media. The movie you picked is Troll Garfield, a movie that tells the tale of the hilarious antics of Troll Garfield through scenes of varying levels of hilarity, beginning at gutwrenchingly funny and evolving into rolling-onto-the-floor-and-being-stabbed-through-the-chucklebone-ly funny. Really, a movie to watch with the whole family. Whatever those are. 

TEREZI: 1 DON'T TH1NK 1'V3 W4TCH3D TH1S MOV13 1N Y34RS  
TEREZI: 1 M34N, SUR3LY 1T C4N'T B3 4S B4D 4S 3V3RYON3 SAYS 1T 1S  
NEPETA: :33 < there are people who say that this movie is bad  
TEREZI: Y34H?? 1'M SURPR1S3D YOU H4V3N'T H34RD, 1NSULT1NG TH1S MOV13 W4S 4 "TH1NG" OH SO LONG 4GO  
NEPETA: :33 < i basically lived under a rock for my whole life, you can't expect me to know efurything hehe!!  
NEPETA: :33 < anyway should we start?  
TEREZI: (th3r3's on3 mor3 th1ng th4t 1 w4nt to s4y to 3qu1us f1rst)  
TEREZI: H3Y 3QUIUS, 4R3 YOU S3R1OUSLY GO1NG TO S1T TH3R3 4ND W4TCH US W4TCH TH1S MOV13???  
EQUIUS: D - > Yes, I already said this  
EQUIUS: D - > Do you need me to repeat myself  
TEREZI: WHY TH3 FUCK WOULD 1 W4NT 4 CR33P L1K3 YOU TO R3P34T 4NYTH1NG TO M3?????  
TEREZI: W4NT1NG TO W4TCH TWO G1RLS JUST 1NNOC3NTLY H4V3 4 SL33POV3R TOG3TH3R??  
TEREZI: 1 C4N'T 1MAG1N3 ANYON3 B31NG SUCH 4 P3RV3RT, J3GUS CHR1ST  
EQUIUS: D - > What, no that's  
TEREZI: 1 DON'T W4NT TO H34R 1T!!  
TEREZI: 1 W4NT YOU TO L34V3 US 4LON3 4ND S4F3 FROM YOUR S3XU4L1Z1NG G4Z3!!  
EQUIUS: D - > You're completely missing the point of what I'm trying to  
TEREZI: L4 L4 L4 SORRY 1 C4N'T H34R CR33PS SUCKS HOW TH4T WORKS!!!!!!  
EQUIUS: D - > Fine, I'll leave  
EQUIUS: D - > Don't e%pect Nepeta here again after this  
TEREZI: TH4T'S F1N3 B3C4US3 W3'R3 JUST GO1NG TO ST4Y H3R3 W4TCH1NG MOV13S TOG3TH3R FOR3V3R!!  


He hangs his head down, before leaving Terezi's respiteblock, and subsequently her hive. You and Terezi swivel your heads towards each other and grin widely at each other.

TEREZI: W3 C4N B3G1N NOW >:]  
NEPETA: :33 < *ac points towards the bong and asks gc to pass it to her before the movie begins*  
TEREZI: OH, YOU H4V3 TH3 B1GG3ST BR41N  
TEREZI: NOW, L3T'S G3T TH1S MOTH3RFUCK1NG P4RTY ON!! >:]  



End file.
